About Success, I Wish I Learnt At Home.
- Jun 10th 2019
“Oh my God! What happened to you and how did you manage to hurt your face?”, my mother exclaimed as she opened the door to me. I was probably 6 or 7 and rushed home injured, playing football. In her panic, she added: “Dad’s going to be back home any minute and you’re going to get a scolding.”
My father was a short-tempered man who came from a space of tremendous fear and had no control on his choice of words or tone of voice.
As predictable as he was, I got shouted at and it got worse when he discovered that I was playing with older boys and blamed my judgement for it. Incidents like these where my parents were very fearful and restrictive, conditioned me to cultivate some of these belief systems.
- I’m not a good judge of people and situations: Choosing to play with older boys was bad judgement on my part. I was constantly reminded that I always got carried away; and apparently, I wasn’t good at choosing what’s best for me.
- Once you get hurt, that’s the sign to get out: Shout outs like “Vikaashh, don’t!” and “Be careful”, turned me into a rebel without a purpose. With the rebel in me, I could take risk, but the broken child in me just didn’t how to persevere.
- Success was not relatable: The lack of conversations on how to be stronger, faster and better got me to believe more in my boundaries, than my possibilities.
Being stonewalled from focusing on what mattered to me the most, I hadn’t taken up any one sport or subject and gotten really good at it. Instead, I was getting really good at holding back from pursuing excellence.
Imagine for a moment, the exact opposite of my belief system and self-image: I’d be great at decision making, beaming with optimism, and pro-active in my approach. I’d have the grit and determination to weather the storm and navigate my way to success.
The epiphany that something had to shift inside of me, led to seeking support from a performance leadership coach. These coaching conversations were nothing short of a bungee jump into my deep-seated emotions, and my self-image. I had astounding insights about myself as a leader in life, the truth of my current reality, and the lack of alignment with future aspirations.
For the first time I was starting to dream about my ideal life, whilst slowly shedding fears, insecurities and old belief systems. This is when I envisioned myself as a Life Coach, and I remember feeling a gush of clarity and confidence that I’d never experienced before. “Oh My God! Is this really happening to me?” I exclaimed. Today I rebel not but march everyday onto the path of building my coaching practice and I thrive feeling aligned to my new definitions of happiness and success. The two ultimate outcomes we seek in everything we do, feel or think.
I am grateful to my wife who encouraged the idea of seeking support from a coach. To sit in a non-judgmental conversation with all energies focused on elevating your life, is the best gift you can give yourself.
Rajat is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) with over 18 years of industry experience and over 2500 hours of coaching experience, helping people and organizations attain maximum effectiveness. His background includes working with CXOs, senior managers, managers and board of directors of small private companies to multi-billion dollar publicly traded organizations.