- Apr 13th 2020
This blog is authored by Nimalshini
With a lot of life changing situations I’ve gone through over the past year, I started a journey of self-reflection, and came to certain realizations which made me unleash some of the chains, beliefs and expectations from society that I was struggling to break free from. It made me reflect on situations that had resulted in me sacrificing a lot of my potential and my potential to be an empowering friend.
In this journey I started to reflect on how I could improve my relationship with my own self, and then with those around me, in a way that enables them to build on the strength they already own, while I build on mine.
The journey of coaching I have just embarked on, helped me realize that I have taken responsibility for individuals and situations that have not been mine to deal with.
One other realization that this journey helped me land on, was that we often get hurt in any relationship because we expect certain things from others out of our own need. And that’s because we do not feel complete ourselves. And we do not feel complete ourselves, because most often we lose ourselves in trying to fill voids in other people’s lives which never really happens. It’s a work done by an individual for his/her own self. And love doesn’t really mean helping them or overwhelming them but being a platform for their growth and freedom.
Love – has many forms
From Conception – Birth – Life to Death
We learn from those who claim to “Love” us
On what love is, how to love and what it means to be loved
Most often what we think of as love, is the kind of love we have received
But what Truly is “LOVE”?
After many years of heartbreak and healing
I’ve learnt one thing
Love does have different forms
It does not mean longevity or being together in terms of physical presence
It does not have to end up being forever
Love – is letting go… but being there…
The first step to Love another – is really fully loving your true self
Be a fountain and not a drain!!!
Being wholesome yourself will make you feel you don’t need another to validate your existence
And then comes the true appreciation of another
as a unique being that deserves to explore themselves on their own
This is the same for our children, our friends, our lovers and our spouses
True Love – is not wanting to shower all your love and care on the other
True Love – is not wanting to be loved back the same way
True Love – is accepting the form in which it’s received by the other
True Love – is giving yourself in a way that the other would want to have – or afford to have
And in order to do this;
You have to be strong and stand tall in your own true self
And be strong to give what he wants; hold back what he doesn’t
Allow yourself to be loved differently than you would like to be loved
Our expectations from our loved ones is just our NEED and not LOVE
If the one you love does not love you the same
It’s your need that hurts you
But it doesn’t mean you are less worthy
We often expect others to fill voids in our lives that we end up being hurt
We also try to fill voids in the lives of our loved one, simply cos we love them.
And fail to see that it’s not our duty but theirs to make themselves whole
No hard love can fill up a person unless they become whole themselves
And when your love is not returned in the same way that you would like to
You are just given an opportunity to love them more
While loving yourself selflessly, unconditionally to move on
And only a strong heart can do that
And turn an unmet need into something more beautiful
And when you receive the same kind of love one day
From someone who loves you truly
With the same kind 0f freeing, floating an unconditional form of love
That is when you will know how beautiful you made the other person feel
By loving them ONLY in a way that they wanted to have you love them
And if you’re lucky – one day you will find someone
Who would want YOU to love them EXACTLY the way You would want to love them….
And you keep loving the other in a way that they want you to
And they would keep loving you in a way that you want them to
And that’s when Forever begins….
When it’s not about YOU – but all about the other..
Never stop believing…
Rajat is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) with over 18 years of industry experience and over 2500 hours of coaching experience, helping people and organizations attain maximum effectiveness. His background includes working with CXOs, senior managers, managers and board of directors of small private companies to multi-billion dollar publicly traded organizations.