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Transforming

 

- Nov 09th 2021

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Maximising the potential of a person, any person, has been my journey of late. I am personally passionate about helping others fulfil their destiny.

Recently my daughter asked me, ‘what gets you excited, it’s not money, achievements or fame, not even possessing gadgets.’ That’s when I realised that I am most excited to see someone, anyone, taking steps towards fulfilling their destiny. This thrills me and now has become my passion.

This journey of self discovery has been trickier than I thought with formations of my paradigms as a mentor, counsellor, advisor and an experienced forerunner. All this needed undoing as I’ve had to painfully reinvent myself. Sort of start from scratch, discard all my experiences, prejudices, notions and look at everyone as objectively as I can. A tall ask indeed!

This heightened mindfulness made me to see that age isn’t relevant, as a coach I have no place of authority. Any hint of hierarchy is a blocker so are my experiences, knowledge, education… All that matters is my approach towards my client with total respect for her/his uniqueness and ability to self-actualise.

Only then can I come alongside as an equal, a partner, a genuine facilitator and co-sojourner.

This is particularly challenging when it comes to younger people.  My pride & arrogance can be a snare.

Help! I’m not God, I don’t know my client’s mindset or their journey so far, nor their experiences. All I see in my mind’s eye is that I have concluded my opinion & options, as soon as their first word is uttered. How presumptuous can I get? This unlearning at 56 can be tedious. I feel frustrated and sad about myself & the entrenched patterns of my mind.  I’m beginning to see that being coequal and a genuine partner is going to be an adventure with one’s inner-self.

Chauvinist? Me? Not Really? Why then do all my patronising internal prejudices pop up every now and then. The fact that men and women are different seems to have coloured my thinking. I need to reinforce the fact that both are gifted uniquely, have equal potential, and are equal in worth. My precious wife and two daughters have graciously said that I haven’t made gender differences pivotal in our home. But I still find I need to explore this area more deeply, perhaps out of my parents unwittingly reinforcing the patters of their time.

Another area, I wonder if I am prejudiced and have a sense of superiority compared to people of faiths different to mine. Do I think I am better than others because of what I believe? Can I be equal, partner with integrity and not feel conflicted if I hold on to my thought process. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Also, how do you explain the feeling of being lesser than other because they are more educated or wealthy? I strongly have to battle this thinking and successfully remind myself that I am equal in value & worth and need not look down at myself or feel lesser in any way.

I am changing as a person to be genuinely equal and to comfortably partner with anyone from anywhere. It is a long and gruelling uphill pathway, and I am loving transformation process.

 

Author Name:  Sydney Nevis

Title of the Blog:  Transforming

About the Author:  A pastor for 30 years. I found what I love to do and do what I love to do. I dream of being as helpful as possible to people on a personal & professional level.

Program Attended with CTT:  I am on the ICF Coach Certification Program Level 1. I want to be certified to fulfil my dream of being as helpful as possible.

What worked for me:   The program is changing me to be a person that will make me as helpful as possible.

What benefits me:  I am personally changing, recognising new paradigms.

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