The Journey to the Centre of my Being

7-year-old me: What should I draw?

10-year-old elder brother: What would you like to draw?

Me, hoping I will get some ideas: I don’t know. You tell me na?

Bro (absolutely unperturbed): But how can I tell you what to draw when it is you who wants to draw?

Me (sighing): Arggggg!!

This is how most conversations between my brother & I went for as long as I remember.
Having an elder brother, meant I looked up for easy, convenient and quick answers. Sadly, to my luck, it was none of the that. My questions ensued more questions instead of answers and as a child it made me feel extremely annoyed. Slowly it became a part of life and before I realised I didn’t expect answers from others.
In a funny turn of events, today as my little daughter awaits an answer and all she gets is, “What do you think you should do?”

Strangely she doesn’t seem annoyed (maybe because she is an evolved creature). She thinks, reflects, answers and moves on to the action.

As I started my journey to be a coach, I realized that I was already one. In fact, for most part of my life I was communicating like one. But there were still a lot of revelations through this journey. This was also the time, I was reading The Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne about an eccentric German scientist who believes there are volcanic tubes that can lead human being to the very centre of the earth and with that notion begins the unknown journey with his nephew. Call it mere coincidence or the urge to draw semblance by my mind, many parts of the book resonated with my journey of being a coach.

“I looked on, I thought, I reflected, I admired, in a state of stupefaction not altogether unmingled with fear!”

Looking, thinking, reflecting, admiring but also being mingled by curiosity and inquisitiveness – that’s a coaching conversations. I was liberated from all other thoughts, the baggage of the humdrum of life and was simply enjoying a meaningful conversation. What I didn’t feel though is fear, for coaching taught me that facing my biggest fears are the doorway to my biggest growth. What would I do and achieve, if I weren’t afraid? Answer that, and the world is a different space altogether.

“What’s darkness to you is light to me.”

It’s amazing how we have ended up wearing tinted glasses that makes us see everything in the way we always want to see them. We are so over ridden by our perceptions, assumptions and notions that we’ve long forgotten to see things in the reality of what they are! Coaching helps to drop these glasses and see everything the way the other person wants the coach to see. Suddenly, what was darkness, isn’t anymore. It’s light, bright and beautiful, filled with hope.

 “While there is life there is hope. I beg to assert, Henry, that as long as a man’s heart beats, as long as a man’s flesh quivers, I do not allow that a being gifted with thought and will can allow himself to despair.”

Hope, the willingness to not give up, the ability to see through despair – are all just a matter of our thoughts. It’s our thoughts that can have the ability to change our perspective and save the day. Us, the human kind, the ones endowed with the ability to think, feel and reflect, do the disservice of letting this gift go.  Coaching reintroduced me to my whole being, filled with aspirations and desire, propelling to unleash the shackles that holds us back and as a coach I am amused and inspired with this spirit.

“If at every instant we may perish, so at every instant we may be saved.”

Life is made up of moments. While we are the ultimate owners of our lives, we sometimes fail to choose to live every moment of our life the way we want to. One of the things that stops us from doing so is the inability to live in the moment. Being here & now, can bring that power back. Coaching brought this perspective back to my life and I am never letting go of that.

This journey, the one of being a coach, helped me transcend into the depth of my soul and unveil all the answers that I have been looking for. The book might have been finished but the journey to descend to the centre of my being continues and so does the learning.

“What I’m looking for is not out there, it is in me.” ~Helen Keller

About The Author

Name: Surovi Dey Dhupar

An award-winning leader, speaker and influencer in Diversity & Inclusion, with over 19 years of experience, designing data-driven innovative strategies, implementing people practices to promote workplace inclusion and equity by creating an ecosystem where people can thrive. Being driven with passion to change the Diversity and Inclusion landscape in India, establishing Gender Equity, Disability Accessibility and LGBT Inclusion as business imperative across the organization whilst being a visible and vocal campaigner for equality. A story teller and conversationalist who loves to influence the world through writing and speaking opportunities on Global platforms including BBC Worldwide.

Program Attended with CTT: ACTP Coach Certification Program (Level 1 + Level 2)

Reason for taking this program: It might sound elementary, but I believe in the magic and power of conversations. A simple conversation can change a life, bring a new perspective and generate new thoughts that were otherwise in the hiding. Coaching, simplifies this concept even further by taking out all other peripheral components away and focusing only on the conversation. With that as the context, I wanted to help a larger audience see this, who in many ways have the influence to share organisations/ people. In a world, where there is very little control we have over external factors, by being a coach, I would want to enable people to seek the answers from within rather than awaiting them from the world.

What worked for you: The fact that this was a virtual program, worked best for me. I wouldn’t have been able to make the most of it otherwise. And while the learning sessions, added the necessary theoretical concepts, the peer sessions really provided the actual practice. Personally, my mentor coaching sessions were phenomenal and provided me the guidance that I needed and also the clarity that I was seeking.

What benefits you got: The overall process had made me more aware of my thoughts, it had helped me remove the complexities of assumptions and simplify conversations by being led only by focusing on the other person’s thoughts. Coaching also made me a better listener and also liberated me from the expectation of having an answer. But most importantly, coaching has made more curious, increasing my level of engagement during a conversation.