Unlearning to Coach.

This blog is authored by M C Cariappa

Throughout our lives we are constantly learning, consciously and subconsciously. The learning is formal and structured when we go through school and university and a fairly large portion is also by observing and listening to people around us.

What is interesting is that while we spend a fair amount of our time learning so as to move forward in academics and our chosen profession, we also start learning/believing things about ourselves and others through our experiences and interactions. The latter which form beliefs or truths we self-learn in most instances apart from the times when we are tutored or taught specifically through our lives both at home and outside.

I would like us to reflect on our learnings related to our experience and interpretations of the same which go on to form our beliefs, truths and values in different ways. What is interesting is that these are ‘our individual’ experiences which structure our thoughts and reactions in our journey through life.

Have we ever wondered what this does to our way of being with ourselves and others?

Have we wondered as to how many others would have shared their interpretations with us and added on to what we have already built for ourselves?

Have we wondered as to whether current and past instances where we bring them into play are exactly the same?

Are we coloring the present and future with the past?

Have we ever wondered what has happened to the enthusiasm, spontaneity, curiosity, freedom, excitement, celebration, laughter that was our way of being in our childhood?

Have we ever wondered what our lives and society would be like if we had carried the same from our childhood?

Well, we have spent a large part of our lives learning through reading, listening, watching attended courses about personality development, life skills, both for ourselves and others. We continue to reach out for anything that we believe will answer the need that we have for personal and professional issues, challenges and opportunities. The point here is that everything is based on somebody else’s experience, in a situation which may never have repeated in their lives yet we crave to understand what they share and then implement the same into our lives.

How does this make sense when we as individuals are scientifically nothing but a collection of trillions of cells which are constantly regenerating? We ourselves are not the same matter that we were few days back.

We ourselves are not the same physical person we were yesterday as some cells have died and regenerated. We do not have control on that happening in this space. It is outside our scope of intelligence and control. However, we, are very comfortable in controlling how we think, behave and interact with ourselves and others around us as though nothing has changed.

It is here I want us to think of the importance of unlearning all our past understanding and knowledge when we listen to a Coachee.

What if because of our unlearning they are able to reflect and be enthusiastic, spontaneous, curious, free, and excited in the session?

What could be possible for them and for us?

About The Author

M C Cariappa is an accidental corporate professional having spent three decades in the corporate world in varied roles and industries. Currently on a sabbatical to spend time on learning and sharpening his skills in the world of coaching and mentoring individuals, apart from building on his overall wellness, travelling and playing golf.