CONVERSATIONS WITHIN

This blog is authored by Jerestine
I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them….

• Oscar Wilde

In the midst of all the rush and hush, is it always important to have an opinion about everything? Does everything always have to make sense? Is it always important for others to behave like you? Is it always important to be emotional about certain things?
With most of them, I feel emotions get the better of them, while for the rest it might turn out to be a disaster. Just thinking about the leaders I look up to – in business or any other field. Do they give a free hand to their anger or anxiety or do they react to everything around immediately? Or do they stay calm and composed?
My message here focuses on my journey with Coaching. Which starts with Self Awareness, In order to understand my emotions and regulate them, I first needed to notice and recognise them deeply. I now have started to pause and check with myself as to what’s happening within me and how am I feeling about it? And try to understand where this feeling is coming from. Like – sometimes when I get angry during a meeting, I ask myself is my irritation coming out of the discussion happening in the meeting or is it something to do with the argument I had with someone earlier this day? With the understanding of emotional concepts, I have started to identify feelings with greater understanding – not just mine but that of other people too.
It’s of great help when you keep reminding yourself that you are in charge of yourself than anyone else. And hence recasting yourself as a leader and not as a victim becomes important. The way I have started to recognise my emotional state has changed, in terms of when someone at work snaps at me, the immediate response has always been snapping back, but I’m considering myself that may be the person is having a bad day and letting it go would help.
My this journey has also made me realise that being opinionated all the time doesn’t add value. Like for example like I feel I need to give a difficult feedback to someone in a location meeting. I get anxious about the situation and impulsive too at the same time. In understanding the deeper sense of my emotion, I understand that the value behind this is fairness and voicing my opinion. But I also at the same time realise that it is not always important to be opinionated, and see things with the same lens. It helped a great deal when I put the 1000 statements in mind to rest and approached the lady alone and understood her situation. Made me realise bringing that piece in the meeting in front of all would have unsettled her a great deal.
Hence conversations within help!!!