It is always our own self that we find at the end of an experience or a journey. This is my story.
In my practice as a Healer, Counselor, Trainer and a Parenting Coach, I have always tried to help people discover various aspects of themselves and life, so they can understand and adapt easily with awareness and acceptance.
My sessions would be full of talks and guidance to help people venture into the several aspects of their lives but even more to delve into themselves as a whole and come to terms with its parts and their journey of evolution.
However it was an uphill task as sometimes they wouldn’t be ready for this experience at that point in time… Or just back out from venturing into unknown territory.
When I embarked on Coaching as a Process and Practice what changed was an amazing revelation at the end of an humbling process
Clients spoke about a Problem statement, something that was a pressing need in their lives at that moment.
They were ready to invest time and energy in exploring aspects of the problem and themselves at various levels to find a solution… one that suits them at that stage in life.
They felt comfortable as they chose their path, how far they’d like to go and when they’d like to back out.
The process was very strong and structured thus being result based. Best of all the result was what they chose to be.
I spoke less… in fact almost nil! … Which was spiritual in a way for the client as he heard himself speak… his inner voice was being heard. It was therapeutic in itself, as I have heard from several of them.
Coaching, as I could see, created a mind shift which helped Clients design bite sized achievable goals as they could decide with clarity what was most important for them. They felt more in control of themselves and also felt a sense of achievement.
Soon Clients got used to Coaching as a process and in time, I could see them employ it automatically in their thinking and reflection leaving no dependency on me. In fact they weaned themselves automatically. Somewhere along the journey, talking to themselves became second nature: a most needed aspect in today’s busy lives where our inner voice is lost somewhere.
A Success Story
A 30 year male working in a Branding and Ideation Workspace was looking for something to solve his memory issues as he kept receiving feedback from his bosses and peers about how he should learn multi-tasking and how he wasn’t particular of deadlines. His creative work was par excellence but his forgetfulness meant lack of attention to details and loose ends. The job was at risk and my creative Client felt lost as logical sequential activities made no sense to his artistic brain.
We had one coaching session of an hour. He came up with his solution. To carry a notebook and note every detail. The solution seemed simple and he himself confided that this has been in the back of his mind and several colleagues and family had advised this over the years etc. He felt it weird that he also came up with the same solution but wanted to try it out.
It’s been 3 months. He has a notebook now, a big whiteboard in office, a note maker on his phone and a notepad on the bedside. He isn’t missing anything in all aspects of his life professional and personal, has been double promoted and has delivered several projects and events. He got mentioned by the CEO as the most effective and well planned guy on the team!
The best thing of all, he hasn’t come by or ever thanked me for my support or intervention. Because clearly it was his struggle, his solution and he owned it.
This was a contrast to my Counseling journey where even after years the clients showed gratitude and attributed all their successes to me and continued to be dependent, which was something I was very uncomfortable with.
I felt that I had consciously/sub-consciously set a mental block which was getting stronger with time and it had to be broken. The best part is I broke it myself and this session made me realize that it’s totally possible. The best part is this change came in naturally and not by force. I did not feel uncomfortable or out of place which was the best part. I totally loved this change!
The results of this change were immediate and that was very satisfying. My work was observed, appreciated and acknowledged by my manager and colleagues resulting in a better performance at work and leading by an example. I feel more confident now after overcoming the fears of Multi-Tasking or Forgetfulness.
Dr. Chetana Keni is the Founder of Aurinko Academy, an award winning Alternative School in Bangalore. She is also a Psychologist, Special Educator, Counselor and a Mentor for Startup Schools and Women led Entrepreneurial initiatives.