Uncomfortably Excited ??? Growth and Emotions

I have trained … I have learnt new skills … I have practiced these skills under different environments … I am ready..

Let me tell you my journey of learning to drive…

I was 14 years old. My Dad was catching an afternoon nap and his car was parked in the garage. Over the years I had seen him get in , start the car on neutral, press the clutch, shift the gear to reverse (manual shift in the good old days) release the clutch and press the accelerator – easy right? I got in the car, full of ‘excitement’ and at the same time feeling a sense of uncertainty – ‘uncomfortable’. Well things moved fast and the next thing I knew was that I had hit a rock in the garden and the car had got stuck – UNCONCIOUS INCOMPETANCE.

The noise had woken up Dad. I was petrified letting my imagination go wild as to what would happen. I was really surprised by his reaction. Without a word he got into the car and slowly eased it away from the rock, back into the garage. The damages were checked out and thankfully very minor! He walked over to me and said, ‘I guess I’ll have to teach you to drive’. My feelings moved from fear to ‘excitement’ and at the same time feeling a sense of uncertainty – ‘uncomfortable’. That moment I became acutely aware that I did not know how to drive – CONCIOUS INCOMPETANCE.

That night we got into the car and he drove me to this beautiful lake – a part of our hometown in Kandy, Sri Lanka. It was after 8 pm, a time that the traffic had subsided, and he proceeded to teach me the fundamentals of driving. We did this for about a week and needless to say my feelings were – ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘excitement’. Every action I took had me fully focused – when to press the clutch, when to release it, how to move the gear lever, how much pressure on the accelerator so and so on. I was in a state of CONCIOUS COMPETANCE
Days, weeks, months, and years have passed since those early days of driving and now I can safely say I am a driver. I do not have to consciously think of when to change gears, when to brake, how much pressure do I need on the accelerator etc. – my mind, eyes, hands, and legs work in unison without conscious thought. I have reached a state of ‘automaticity’ – a state of UNCONCIOUS COMPETENCE

There are four stages in any growth trajectory …

UNCONCIOUS INCOMPETENCE

CONCIOUS INCOMPETANCE

CONCIOUS COMPETANCE

UNCONCIOUS COMPETANCE

I shall not be chained to the constraints of the standard labels describing only ONE emotion at a time!
Excitement? Uncertainty? Uncomfortable? I cannot outrun this plethora of emotions  that continuously follow me through every stage of growth.

Simply put, what do I feel? I am …

Uncomfortably Excited : Two labels – One feeling !!!