Trust is a big word. Bigger than anything ever existed in this world. It makes us strive, succeed or fail in any relationships; be it personal or professional. I had never thought about the word trust or its meaning until my participation in a recent training session with Master Coach Rajat. His question was simple, “What is trust?” I was struggling to define my understanding of its meaning as I had never thought about it because I understand the word, I understand its standing in this universe and I understand its meaning in my mother tongue.
Pondering upon it I practically have no proper definition of my own, thus I googled the word trust. The first meaning – a noun, trust is firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. I settled with this definition, somehow it jives with my belief and values.
What makes us trust someone? What kind of qualities of the person that we are able to place our trust on? While slowly jotting down what made I trust a person, one by one the faces lingered in my mind. Faces of whom I had trusted that remain trustworthy and sincere; and faces of those who had had blatantly betrayed me and destroyed my trust. What it did to me? it cut like blade through my heart, the betrayal, broken promises and hurtful words hurt me beyond description and I had cried thousands of times but the thought of it still hurts. I felt my eyes were teary, a sharp twinge in my heart – the signs of how important the word trust is in my life and what it did to me if it is broken and betrayed. I glorify trust, it is an important element in my life. I shall forever endeavour to honour it in my relationships and my expectation to those given the trust is as high as my endeavour to honour it. I am at no liberty to give trust to anyone unless the person gains it and vice versa. I clearly understand that and it irks me when people demand my trust of which they are not entitled.
Thinking deeply on what makes me trust someone, I somehow feel that maybe if the person does not impose his values upon me, maybe someone with integrity will gain my trust or someone that is respectful of me and others, someone who does not judge me for who I am; and most importantly someone who accepts my flaws and still like being with me or be my friend, accepting me as me. That is how I decide if I can trust someone. Thus, it made me wonder, do some people that I trust accept me or are they pretending? Do they deserve my trust? Why do I still mingle with some people who keep on highlighting my flaws and weaknesses? What should I do with them? Should I remove them from my life? Should I change my behaviour towards them? Should I not trust them as I used to be? Maybe, trust means differently to them but that does not qualify them to breach my trust from my perspectives. If they are sincere in our relationship then they should strive to gain my trust from my perspectives. Trust is always gained and never given.
I do agree we look at things differently, therefore, I am willing to fathom and discern their perspectives on trust – to gain, keep and adhere to their level of satisfaction. Why? Because trust is important to me. Nothing works without trust. Nothing!
What the training session did to me? It made me think of me as me and evaluating my worth and my presence in the lives of those that I in all sincerity place my trust.
About the Author – Masni is a coach, trainer and consultant and has been in human resources fraternity for more than 20 years. Her area of interest has always been in leadership and culture transformation. Being a certified coach (ACC, ICF) and qualified educator, she has been combining her skills in helping people and organizations growth.