Starting with ONE question! Why and how I started to use coaching as a manager?

I came across coaching when I was a junior manager in an international company. When I heard this concept in one of the training programs for managers, I felt confused. How can I? Being a manager meant that I was now responsible towards people, and that I had to let them know that I was aware of the solutions and directions. How can a manager support and direct the team if they do not say so?

From the culture perspective, especially in China, I could clearly see where it came from. When we were students, we sat in the classroom and listened to the teachers (No questions asked); when we started to work, we did what bosses told us (no questions asked).
The question is not what I was used to, or what I saw others doing, but that’s how it seemed to work, right?

No, it does not.

According to a survey done by a Chinese research company in 2019, the job satisfaction of the front line worker in terms of people relationship is the lowest at 2.98, compared the manager who are at 3.14 (scale of 1-5). We can see that managers are naturally capable of managing people’s relationships compared with front line workers, which might be the reason managers get promotions. Also only 50% of the people said they did not receive any learning opportunities at all, while out of the other 50%, who had learning opportunities, 22% said they only had job skills learning. This data reveals that our current way of managing people is not working. Managers tend to see people as just working for them, forgetting that it is also the manager’s responsibility to support the learning and development of the team members.

I saw that in my team as well. They were strong and dedicated people, but often struggled with their ability to work with other people, to learn from work and to self-develop. And I came to realize that no matter how many times I told them what to do and how to do it, they mostly did not do or, did it just for the sake of it. The BIG WHY was not there.

With that struggle, I started to try coaching on a one-on-one basis, which felt quite unnatural. The teams were expecting me to give them answers and I am trying so hard not to. Also 10 years back in China, nobody used coaching. Even after the training, I remembered my peers laughing after saying that it worked only in Western World. I was stuck, I do not know how.

Then I decided to start simple: With ONE question:
– When people ask me what to do, I ask ONE question “what do you think?”
– When people share with me their plan, I ask ONE question “what makes you think that way?”
– When people have one-on-one conversations with me, I ask ONE question “what have you learned recently?”

I was surprised by how people were opening up with just ONE question, one question that was non judgmental at all and only invited sharing. I saw people’s eyes light up when I asked this one question, and the brain started working. And hearing what their thoughts were made me understand them way more than before. It was an eye opener for me and starting from there, I practiced different coaching questions, frameworks and skills, helping me to arrive where I am right now.

So to my fellow managers, if you are not used to coaching, start with ONE question, and you will see the light I see.

Author Name: Michelle Gao
Title of the Blog: Coaching the mind and act
About the Author (a short description of yourself): With over 10 years of experience on online travel media and online travel agencies, Michelle is the regional leader for a global online travel company. She is keen to support people to bring in awareness and action toward where they want to be.
Program Attended with CTT: ACC10042021
Reason for taking this program: Growing into professional a coach
What worked for you: The program is very interactive, learning not just from the mentor but also from peers.
What benefits you got: Different ideas, understanding from different people about the same concept. Feedback from mentors and peers about my coaching.