I would like to share with you my experience being a conventional mother and also as a spiritual parenting by using the coaching method to coach my daughters to take the course they interest more than what I think it should be looking at the current and future market situation and economic factors. It is not easy as being a Human Resources as my career, not to advise which career is good and have a better prospect especially for the coming future. I could give advice what each course will lead them to in term of the career path but I always be mindful that not to tell them what course to take and manipulate them to take a course that i think it has a better career prospect.
How many of us always tell our children what career is good, what career make good money and have better future and career path?
I have that thought too……..but this is not the way that I want to lead them to.
I believe they have their own life journey that they have to go through. Every choice and decision has to be made by themselves when they reached a certain age. Many of my friends told me that my way is wrong as they are still young and cannot make decision for themselves. We have to make for them. REALLY? Children will remain always young to parents! Do you agree?
As a mother, I will always give support and guidance to my daughters. Every decision that I need them to make will always lead to a “choice and consequences”. Each choice, I will only able to explain and advise the consequences but yet the decision or choice has to make by them. At times, it hurts deeply when I know that is not the decision that I would like them to make but again, as long as I have told them what will be the consequences of the choice that they choose and yet they decided to proceed with that choice, even I feel hurt, I will still give my support and guidance to them.
Every Choice comes with a consequence. “NO CHOICE” is also a choice that you have make.
Let me share with you the recent coaching I have with my daughters.
I have a twin daughter just finished their O’ level education and time to go into a major in University. What I want is the best for them.
I believe that each of us are good at something and is unique! You can be success when you love and have full of passion of what you do! That same goes for my daughters.
I have one daughter is good at academic and she knows for sure what she wants. Same coaching method use to coach her to get into the course she likes and interest. I have no issue with her.
The other eldest twin, she is not good at academy, but she is a street smart girl and she loves creativity. She only knows that she does not want to go into business, finance, marketing and etc which require a lot of research and study. She wants to take up a design. Well, design also come with many design courses such as multimedia design, graphic design, interior design, fashion and many more.
So I asked her what design course she wants to take since there are so many options. She will keep replying me “I Don’t Know”. Sigh……The impatient mother is kicking in but instead to tell her which design to take I start to coach her for each of the design course that available.
For each design course, I will just asked her a few simple questions :-
The first two to three time of the coaching of which course to take, she will give me different course and she just can’t make up her mind. This is normal as for a child that has been grown up in the environment of free will and decision make based on choice and consequences, she always know that she has to take the responsibility of each decision made and accountable for it.
After the six sessions of coaching which I never said no neither give any ideas or feedback of the choice of the course, she finally told me one day that she has decided to take interior design. Again, I asked this is final decision? And she said. “Yes”.
Well, after she confirmed that she will study interior design, she took the interest to look for college and university and will get back to me the advantages and disadvantage of each college without me asking her why? She prepared the answers before I start to ask her for more information.
I am proud of her!
Coaching is just part of me wherever I go and where I am and I cannot unlearn what I have learned from our master Rajat of CTT. I am grateful for the guidance and support that he has given to each of us that make us a better coach today!
Peineey Sim is a HR professional with over 20 years of working experiences across many different industries. She has been in a leadership position in HR and has helped to manage the company business by partnering with the business leaders and stakeholders and empowering her colleagues/employees through inspiration and coaching. She is currently working to complete the CTT certification program and ICF coaching certification program.