‘MAKING THE SWITCH’ – THE EVOLUTION OF A COACH

Life continues to surprise us everyday isn’t it?

Be it, a business deal that went better than expected, a new hobby you surprisingly excelled in, or a conversation where you connected with your teen daughter and understood the world from her eyes!

There are two main ways in which we respond to life – natural instincts (who we are) and conditioned responses (who we’ve chosen to become in the pursuit of life). Of late, I have become aware of a third category – ‘Intrinsic realization’ that leads to ‘self-transformation’!

In my 16 years’ of being an HR Business Partner, I have witnessed a plethora of ‘people situations’ where you assume you know how to navigate situations or facilitate conversations to navigate team members & peers through them. To me the big realization came when I engaged in a peer coaching conversation, where the concern expressed was that of ‘discomfort’ while having crucial conversations at work. The objective and measure of success here was to arrive at 2-3 ways to reduce the discomfort. My style of a ‘situational’ facilitation of the concern helped me realize that while my client may have discovered options in the light of a particular situation, the core concern of ‘discomfort’ may not have been addressed completely!

On further self-thought, I realized the following: –

1. There can be varying grades of client concern – from trying to sustain outcomes of a diet management program (Operational) through handling a critical work situation (Situational), right up to addressing a behavioral aspect (Behavioral).
2. Each of the above concerns can be handled accordingly with context, stakeholders, data & facts available. But a better way to handle these concerns would be trying to understand ‘who’ the client is & dive deep into the needs, motives and possible reasons for the stated behavior. This could also aid the coach in gaining a better understanding of ‘what’ the concern is from the client’s perspective. The subsequent realization could then indeed be transformational for the client, leading to higher levels of commitment to agreed actions.

For better understanding, the following are same peer coaching conversation that distinguishes ‘discomfort’ in a crucial conversation from a ‘Situational’ & ‘Behavioral’ context:

Option A: Situational

Potential Questions – ‘Generating Awareness’

1. Could you articulate a specific situation that outlines your current reality?
2. When such a situation happens, how do you feel?
3. What specific thoughts go on in your mind?
4. When such situations have happened in the past, how have you taken the same steps forward with your team? Did the situation get resolved?
5. What is your understanding of how your team member received the conversation?
6. So, taking on from previous experiences, would you want to see how to structure the conversation such that you are comfortable and your team member finds value?
7. As the Manager, would you want to think beyond & see how to be proactive while addressing such a situation?
8. What other options do you think you have?

Option B – Behavioral

Potential Questions – ‘Generating Awareness’

1. So, can you think of a time when you had a tough conversation and express ‘what’ that discomfort felt like?
2. Why do you think you felt uncomfortable? What thoughts went on in your mind at that point?
3. Ok, let’s try and understand the person in you. Who do you think is ‘Client name’? What are his / her beliefs and value systems?
4. Where are these value systems emanating from?
5. Tell me more about your childhood experiences.
6. How do you think your value systems align with your current reality?
7. So, what will make you feel comfortable & happy?
8. How convinced are you that this is the right way?
9. How committed are you to this action plan?

There is certainly a ‘big difference’ between the 2 approaches. I personally feel that Option B would be more effective in sustaining outcomes. This may not be the only approach, but certainly worth exploring.

This brings me to the ‘focus point’ of this blog – the difference in thinking may be the ‘switch’ that Corporate professionals need to make as they shuttle between Corporate & Professional Coach roles. This assumes greater importance also in the current context of organizations wanting to build a coaching culture, requiring Managers to wear different hats.

Finally, while we are all different people, the concerns of the human mind may be similar, varying only as per the intensity of our respective experiences. As a professional coach, it will therefore help if we constantly keep upgrading our knowledge of human behavior & apply the same to genuinely connect with our clients, while being a part of their journey.

Thank You!