Learn – Unlearn – Relearn
- Sep 16th 2022
The last few months of coaching has been an outstanding journey – not on the outside, but within me. I had started the process to expand skills which can help inspire teams to maximize their potential. But to do that, I had to raise self-awareness before I could raise the awareness for others. I had to unlearn skills that I had acquired over the past several years – of trying to solve problems or giving the answers. Instead, I had to relearn another skill on how to ask the right questions!
It has been a very reflective process for me. The first reflection – Presence in coaching is super important. I must bring my whole self and really be in the moment. For that I generated awareness when I listened, then trickled it into my work and personal commitments. When I started to really listen without breaking the flow, didn’t get distracted, and kept my phone away, I became more aware.
The second reflection – I was mostly operating from the space of consulting or mentoring.
After several years of being a business leader, I had gotten used to an approach where I was trying to give solutions from my experience and asking the teams to follow. This didn’t let my teams’ own resourcefulness come to the fore.
Unlike mentoring or consulting where the focus is on the problem, in coaching the focus is on the person. In awareness stage, you ask a lot of powerful questions which then raises the level of awareness in the mind of the client. And that made me realized that I had to move from giving the answers to actually asking the right questions. “Questioning is like digging borewells – water comes when you go deep!”
I also became more conscious of why I am asking that question and in which area should I raise awareness. This awareness led to believable actions.
Another reflection – “partnership”.
In coaching they taught us that ‘Client is complete and creative’. You have to be curious and exploratory, but not probing or interrogating. It has allowed me to have chats that are truly equal and not judgmental. I have also learnt to talk less, listen more. The expected talk time in a coaching conversation is only 20% for the coach. Which means I need to learn to be comfortable with silences and notice what the client is saying or not saying.
And a final reflection was on relinquishing control. A couple of quotes which remained with me are “Coaching is dancing between coach and client, led by the client” and “Coach takes process ownership, client takes results ownership”. It truly allowed me to free myself from the “pressure” of owning all the solutions and instead facilitate the client to reach their own conclusions.
Overall, this has been a great journey and I truly believe this has helped me develop my own awareness!
Author Name: Geetika
Title of the Blog: Learn – Unlearn – Relearn
About the Author (a short description of yourself): Business leader with almost 20 years of experience across categories and geographies.
Program Attended with CTT: ACSTH (Approved coach specific training hours)
Reason for taking this program: Expand skills which can help inspire teams to maximize potential.
What worked for you: Asking the right questions
What benefits you got: Self awareness