You are your own Sunshine

A couple of years ago, in one of the workshops, I was asked to draw how you want to see yourself or what do you want your life to look like. I drew a childlike painting of a girl just standing with open arms enjoying the sun and she is happy. For years I was struggling to find the answer to my happiness and this journey of coaching, the class and mostly the peer coaching helped me discover that.

I have had a life full of tricky situations and I always made the choices which were more beneficial to others and less or minimal to me. Though I did this out of my own free will, I always felt Dejected. This was a continuous cycle, and I was struggling to break out of it.

This journey released a few realizations which is now making me rediscover myself. They are.

• Validation- I was in this vicious cycle because I needed external validation to feel good enough. Hence, I over did for people, fought their battles without thinking whether they need it.
• Holding on- I was holding on to a lot of things or people because I was scared to be by myself. Not realizing this holding on was doing more damage than my fear of letting go.
• Acceptance- I was not able to accept the reality as I was looking outwards, seeking validation. The answer to break this cycle was to accept myself. It was that simple yet very complicated. It wasn’t them; it was all me.
• Healing – I needed to heal the wounds of the past and learn to release the memories that no longer serve me.

With a lot of effort, I have now started to walk on my journey of healing and self-acceptance by taking responsibility and control. The C’s that are helping me do this are.

Choice-I forgave myself for things that I did not and could not do by realizing I made those choices as the requirement of the situation.

Celebrate-I started to appreciate myself for all the qualities that made me who I am as a person and continuously celebrate them.

Conscious -I consciously made a choice to be present and focus on actions which will help me just be. Sometimes, just “Being” is the key.

Control– I control myself and take a back seat from seeking validation by overdoing things for others. I keep ensuring being balanced in being compassionate.

Check-. I keep a check on my emotions when i am not accepted by others and I am learning to be okay with it. I prioritize myself equally now and that makes me happy. The key to maintaining this is being humble and expressing gratitude each day.

This experience in all enlightened my path to “Mrigtrishna” and it reinforced a simple realization that in life full of “May be” there is a definitive yes that we all have and that is a “Yes to yourself.”

Author Name: Richa Mehta 

Title of the Blog:You are your own Sunshine

About the Author: Richa is OD and talent management professional with expertise in leadership development. She is a writer, speaker and expert on people interventions.

Program Attended with CTT: ICF Level- 1 coaching

Reason for taking this program:  To learn the art of coaching scientifically and adopt value driven approach.

What worked for you: The methodology of the program

What benefits you got: The skills for becoming a  better coach and I am now “present in the present”