When I began my coaching journey, I carried with me certain judgements about what coaching should look like. These weren’t just passing thoughts; they were deeply ingrained beliefs that shaped how I approached conversations with coachees. Two of the strongest pre-conceived notions I held were:
- Coaching requires face-to-face conversations to truly hold the coachee’s attention.
- I must have equal experience as the person I coach to make them happy and deliver the outcome they desire.
Over time, however, these judgements were challenged and transformed through real experiences. Today, I want to share two scenarios that shifted my perspective and helped me grow as a coach.
Scenario 1: Coaching Beyond Eye Contact
One of the most surprising lessons came from a casual WhatsApp chat with a colleague who is also a friend. What started as a normal conversation quickly revealed a deeper need—if he were going through some issues and seemed to require space for reflection. I checked in gently, asking if he wanted to discuss further, and once he agreed, we set up a coaching agreement right there over chat.
This was new territory for me. Without the benefit of eye contact or non-verbal cues, I had to rely entirely on words and timing. I made a conscious effort to wait at least 30 seconds before replying, giving him space to think and share. I realized that in text-based coaching, silence looks different—it’s not about body language but about intentional pauses. If I rushed to ask another question, I risked cutting off his thought process.
Whenever I sensed the conversation drifting, I politely checked in to ensure we were still aligned with his desired direction. This helped bring focus back without making the exchange feel rigid. By the end, we had clear action items and closure. When I asked if we had reached the outcome, the answer was a confident yes.
Learning: Coaching doesn’t always require face-to-face presence. With awareness, patience, and clear agreements, meaningful coaching can happen even through text. The essence lies in holding space, not in physical proximity.
Scenario 2: Coaching Without Equal Experience
Another powerful shift came when I created an opportunity within my organization. I reached out to a Director I had previously worked with on a project and casually shared my passion for coaching. He had extensive experience in mentoring and counseling, and I felt nervous—how could I, an Advisor, coach someone at his level? Still, I asked if he would give me 45 minutes to experience coaching with me, and he agreed without hesitation.
On the day of the session, my nerves were high. I walked in with zero expectations, knowing only his designation, which made me question my ability. But within minutes of starting the conversation, the designation faded away. He was no longer “a Director”; he was simply a coachee with a problem statement.
As the session unfolded, I focused on listening, asking questions, and holding space. By the end of the hour, I tried to conclude with closure notes, checking if we had arrived at the outcome. His response was unforgettable: “I started my question with assuming something as an outcome, but now I have reflections to work upon. Thanks for helping me uncover that part.”
Those words made my day. They reminded me that coaching is not about hierarchy or equal experience—it’s about enabling reflection and discovery.
Learning: Never leave any opportunity unexplored. Coaching is not about matching someone’s experience but about creating space for them to think differently. Every conversation is an opportunity to overcome our own judgements.
Final Reflection
These two experiences taught me that coaching is not bound by physical presence or professional parity. It thrives on awareness, curiosity, and courage to create opportunities. My initial judgements—that coaching required face-to-face interaction and equal experience—were proven wrong.
Breaking my own judgements has not only made me a better coach but also reminded me that growth often lies just beyond the boundaries of what we think is possible.
Author Name: Priyanka U
