Who Are You When Nobody Is Asking?
I was on vacation, staying in a place I was still getting familiar with. The balcony door had a locking mechanism that felt counterintuitive. The more I tried to open it using my existing understanding, the less progress I made. Eventually, I realised that the issue wasn’t the door itself; it was my assumption about how the door worked. As it turned out, my friend Anusha had already figured it out earlier.
On the surface, this is hardly a story worth telling. A man struggles with a door. His friend understands it before he does. Problem solved. Yet what stayed with me was not the solution. It was the conversation and reflection that emerged from it. Looking back, I realise these are the kinds of moments that often shape the thinking of a Life Coach, even when no coaching conversation is taking place.
While trying to make sense of the situation, I found myself naturally exploring ideas that went far beyond the mechanics of a lock. The moment became an exploration of intention, assumptions, awareness, and problem-solving. If the objective was genuinely important, how long would I stay attached to my first interpretation of the problem? How quickly would I seek new information? How willing would I be to abandon an explanation that was no longer serving me?
What fascinated me was that I wasn’t consciously trying to coach. There was no session, no framework, and no professional obligation. Yet my mind instinctively moved towards learning, reflection, and meaning-making.
That observation led me to a larger realisation. Over the years, I have accumulated many identities. Teacher. Sports educator. Coach. Department leader. Learner. Friend. Family member. Each role comes with its own responsibilities, expectations, and behaviours. Most of these identities become more or less visible depending on the context. While many people begin their journey through Life Coach Certification, what continues to shape them is the mindset they cultivate long after the credential is earned.
This mindset that I was functioning with, however, seemed different.
It appears regardless of the environment.
I find myself looking for patterns in behaviour, exploring the assumptions behind actions, and becoming curious about how people construct their reality. What others may experience as isolated events, I often experience as opportunities to understand human thinking more deeply. Not because I am trying to analyse everything, but because curiosity has gradually become my default response to the world.
This has made me reconsider how purpose is often discussed. We tend to think of purpose as something dramatic waiting to be discovered, “a destination” hidden somewhere in the future. We search for it through plans, goals, achievements, and milestones. Yet I am beginning to wonder whether purpose is often far less mysterious. Some of the most meaningful insights emerge not only through Life Coaching Courses, but through paying close attention to the ordinary experiences that quietly shape us.
Perhaps purpose leaves clues or it reveals itself through recurring patterns of behaviour. Through the activities that energise us. Through the things we repeatedly return to, even when there is no external reward attached. Through the parts of ourselves that emerge so naturally that we barely notice them.
That night, the lesson was never about a balcony door. It was about recognising a pattern that has been present for years.
The desire to help people think more clearly. The tendency to search for learning inside everyday experiences.
The belief that growth often begins with a better question rather than a better answer. For those who aspire to Become a Certified Life Coach, developing this habit of curiosity may be just as valuable as acquiring knowledge.
The door eventually opened.
More importantly, so did a small window into understanding myself. Sometimes the most revealing moments are not the extraordinary ones. They are the ordinary moments that quietly expose who we are becoming. Perhaps that quiet curiosity is what continues to define me not only as a coach, but as a Life Coach.
Author: Prashanth Varma
