If coaching were a Chinese drama, I would play the role of a wise guest, who is calm, steady, and smiling. I would make appearances at crucial moments, not to take control of the story, but to pose questions that ultimately alter everything.
The purpose of this post is to serve as a reflection on the kind of coach I aspire to be. Because I enjoy watching Chinese dramas, I incorporate this metaphor into my understanding of the coaching process. In those shows, characters regularly face crossroads where duty, family expectation, and personal desire collide. Clients arrive with similar layers – cultural norms, relationships, career pressures, and aspirations. I see my role as a coach to help them notice which thread to follow.
Begin with clarity. In drama, an opening scene sets the tone; in coaching, a clear agreement does the same. When I clarify the purpose, boundaries, and roles up front, the client can choose to engage with full awareness. That invitation, respectful rather than directive, creates space for authentic exploration.
Listen like a wise guest. On screen, the wise guest listens more than speaks. I’m learning that presence and deep listening are core tools. Silence, reflective language, and mirroring feelings let clients hear themselves, sometimes for the first time. Instead of offering solutions, I started asking open questions that invited exploration.
Honor cultural context. Many Chinese dramas are propelled by family expectations and tradition. In coaching, honoring a client’s cultural background and values is essential. I started asking about norms, pressures, and meanings that shape decisions, and I co-created goals that fit the client’s life rather than imposing my agenda, respecting the client’s own agency.
Keep ethical boundaries as your compass. There are scenes where a wise guest recognizes they cannot heal a character’s deepest wounds. Coaches must do the same: know our limits and suggest referrals when issues exceed coaching scope. I look at the referrals as supportive possibilities, sharing information without pressure, so clients retain the final say in their care.
Treat accountability like vows. Commitments in stories are spoken, remembered, and tested. I started encouraging clients to choose the steps they would take and review progress collaboratively. When plans shift, setbacks become plot developments to learn from and not moral failings. Celebrating small choices reaffirms the client as the lead actor, owning growth scene by scene.
As a result of writing this, I have a better understanding of how I want to present myself: I want to be steady, curious, smiling, and always respectful of the client’s autonomy. If coaching were a Chinese drama, the wise guest/ coach’s role would be to point out blind spots, maintain a steady presence, and trust the protagonist to come up with their own conclusion. My aspiration is to be that presence, asking the questions that invite movement, honoring culture and values, and supporting clients as they choose their paths, as I believe that the most effective work is done when clients are trusted to take the lead in telling their own stories.
