From Cockpit to Coaching: Why the Best Leaders Ask Before They Tell
In twenty-three years of naval aviation, I learned to give clear instructions. In a helicopter, there is no time for a long discussion. When something goes wrong at low altitude, the crew needs a decision, not a debate. Command, in my mind, meant having the answer, not a coaching leadership style.
Then I started my coach training for ACC ICF certification, and I found that this belief was only half true.
As a flying instructor and later a Commanding Officer, I often caught myself reaching for solutions too early. A trainee would struggle with a manoeuvre, and I would immediately explain what he was doing wrong. It was efficient, but it rarely lasted. The trainee could repeat my words, yet he had not understood the problem himself.
Coaching taught me a different approach: ask first. A simple question like “What did you notice during that approach?” does something instruction cannot. It makes the person think and look inward. The insight that follows belongs to them, so it stays with them.
This was uncomfortable at first. Silence felt like wasted time. Not offering advice felt like not doing my job. But I slowly saw that the pause after a question is where the real work happens. My training in mindfulness coaching helped here. Learning to stay present, without rushing to fill the space, is a skill that coaching and mindfulness share.
Three lessons stand out for me:
- Curiosity is stronger than certainty. When I assume I know the answer, I stop listening. When I stay curious, I hear what the person is actually saying.
- In leadership development coaching, leaders grow people, not just outcomes. A mission completed through instructions alone leaves the team dependent. A mission completed through questions leaves the team stronger.
- Listening is an active skill. It takes practice and discipline, just like instrument flying.
I don’t think command and coaching are opposites. A good leader with a coaching leadership style knows when to direct and when to ask. In an emergency, the crew needs a clear order. In everyday growth, they need space to think. The art lies in knowing which moment you are in.
Today, whether I am working with an aspiring pilot, an entrepreneur, or a colleague facing a hard decision, I try to begin with a question rather than an answer. It is a small change, but it has changed how I lead and how I listen.
The best compliment a coach can receive is not “you gave me great advice.” It is “I figured it out myself.”
Author Name: Cdr Arun Singh Naruka (Retd)
Title of the Blog: From Cockpit to Coaching: Why the Best Leaders Ask Before They Tell
About the Author: Cdr Arun is a retired Indian Navy Commander with 23 years in naval aviation, flying Chetak helicopters and commanding the Naval Helicopter Training School. He is a trained Mindfulness Facilitator, a Flight Safety Supervisor and is based in Jaipur.
Program Attended with CTT: Associate Certified Coach (ACC) coach certification program
Reason for taking this program: After a career built on command and instruction, I wanted to learn how to develop people through questions, listening and trust, and to turn my experience into coaching for others.
What worked for you: Practising powerful questions, learning to stay comfortable with silence, and the reflective writing and peer practice sessions.
What benefits you got: Better listening, more patience as a leader, a clearer coaching mindset, and more confidence in guiding others to their own answers.
Author: ARUN SINGH NARUKA
