My journey as a coach has been one of continuous discovery.
As I progress toward my PCC certification, I find that the most profound lessons have emerged not only during my formal training but also from the reflections shared by my fellow coaches, mentors, and clients. Amongst the many nuances that I have learnt to observe, one that remains particularly intriguing and close to me is that of “Ego” & “Self Respect”.
Early in my practice, I often would find it difficult to unlayer the two. Ego showed up as the subtle need to prove my competence, to be the one who “added value” in every conversation. Self-respect, however, is quieter and steadier; it is the ability to honor my presence, my boundaries, and my authenticity without needing external validation. This distinction became clearer through coaching conversations.
Clients mirrored back moments when my silence created space for their insights, reminding me that respect for myself does not require me to fill every pause. Similarly, mentors challenged me to notice when my desire to be “right” was overshadowing my ability to truly listen.
Through these experiences, I began to see ego as rooted in fear; of inadequacy, of invisibility, of failure. Self-respect, on the other hand, is rooted in trust; trust in the process, in the client’s resourcefulness, and in my own capacity to hold space. Ego sought recognition; self-respect – alignment. Ego demands; self-respect allows.
This realization has shifted how I show up not only in coaching but also in life. I am less reactive to external judgments, more grounded in my values, and more compassionate toward myself and others. What has been most transformative is recognizing that coaching itself is a space where this distinction can be simplified and embodied. In the coaching relationship, both coach and coachee are invited to set aside ego – the need to control, to prove, to impress. Instead cultivate self-respect through presence, curiosity, and mutual trust. It is in this shared space that clarity emerges, not from striving but from allowing.
As I continue my PCC journey, I see coaching as more than a profession; it is a life-long practice of living with humility and dignity. It taught me that ego and self-respect are not opposing forces, not two sides of the same coin, but lessons in discernment, that we can all learn to honor with grace.
Author Name: Ritu Gupta
